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AARYN

Aaryn was surprised when Reth didn\'t immediately turn back for home, but kept walking. He wondered if Reth didn\'t really want to be at home right now—if they were still fighting. But he decided not to ask. If Reth wanted to walk and talk, Aaryn would walk and talk with him. He found himself yearning for more of the older male\'s time.

Eventually, they strolled off the path and into the forest, talking about life and the Anima in a way they hadn\'t in months.

Aaryn wanted to soak up Reth\'s attention and insight—but was struggling to push past the wariness that had sprung up between them since the night Reth had confronted him about being Alpha of the disformed, and he\'d spilled Elia\'s secret.

When the conversation hit a lull and they were still wandering the mountainside, Aaryn sighed. "I owe you an apology, Reth," he said softly.

"What for?"

"For telling you about Elia the way I did. Putting this between you guys. And… for challenging you that way. I\'m sorry. I know it was selfish of me. I was just… there was a lot going on in my head and a lot I was afraid of. I lashed out, and now you\'re paying for it."

Reth grunted and didn\'t reply immediately. "While I agree you could have chosen your time better—or better yet, told my mate to tell me herself—I\'ve also been living this life for a long time, Aaryn and I\'ll tell you: Nothing happens without the Creator\'s say so. If this came up, it was supposed to. We might not understand why, or to what purpose yet. But we will discover it along the way. And though there is mending to happen between my mate and I, I would rather know the truth—or as much as she\'ll tell me," he muttered, "than continue to live in a lie."

Aaryn shook his head. "It wasn\'t my place."

"No, it wasn\'t," Reth said baldly. "But it also wasn\'t her place to hide this from me, so… now we move forward."

"Are you though?" Aaryn asked, hating the whine that entered his voice with the question. He felt like a pup again, scratching at his mother\'s leg.

"Yes, we are," Reth said, his shoulders sagging with weariness. "It just isn\'t the kind of thing we can fix. It touches so many areas of our lives—and for so long. I am… struggling to understand why she continued to hide it. And at this point, she is still refusing to tell me. So…" Reth let his hands come up and then fall in a shrug. "I don\'t know what to do with that. But I can tell you that I still love my mate. And no matter how angry I get, or how difficult this is, I will not leave her."

Aaryn blew out a breath with relief. "That\'s good to hear," he said. "I was afraid I had broken you. And I didn\'t think that was possible."

"Oh, it\'s possible, Aaryn. No matter how strong you are, no matter how successful, never tell yourself you can\'t be broken. It is a lie straight from the pit of hell and it will walk you to the edge of disaster while you\'re still smiling."

Aaryn blinked at the mental visual.

They walked on for a full minute without speaking, Reth staring off into the distance through the trees.

Aaryn wasn\'t sure what to say, but Reth saved him by suddenly turning and asking, "How are you handling the wait?"

"The wait for what?"

"To walk the Flames and Smoke and complete the mating," Reth said bluntly.

Aaryn spluttered. "I… I don\'t think Elreth would appreciate me talking to her father—"

"Oh, don\'t be stupid, Aaryn. You and I both know no matter how she protests, I\'m the first person she talks to about this stuff. Now, tell me, can you handle it? I think the idea is wise, and I know you have the backing of the elders. It\'s only a couple more days. But this is… the drive to be together… I know that feeling. It isn\'t easy."

"No, it\'s not. But we\'re both committed… most of the time."

Reth laughed genuinely, and Aaryn felt half-amused, and half-embarrassed.

"I hear you, I hear you, Son," Reth chuckled. "I\'ve been there. Truly. But trust me, it will be worth the wait in the end. Now that you\'ve made the commitment, you do not want the failure on your conscience. You do not want that between you the first time you make love."

Aaryn rolled his head on his shoulders. He wasn\'t embarrassed to talk about sex. But he knew how uncomfortable Elreth would be with them talking about her—especially her father.

"Don\'t worry," Reth said with a grin, clapping a hand to Aaryn\'s shoulder. "She\'s her mother\'s daughter. This is an aspect of your life that I am certain will be very rewarding for both of you—as long as you are attentive to her needs. And if you aren\'t sure, you can speak with me. Or Behryn when he returns. Any of the older males with True Mates can offer ideas—"

"I think… I think we\'ll be fine," Aaryn said, suddenly deeply uncomfortable. "I think whatever is needed, we will work it out between us."

Reth snorted. "Don\'t bet on it. She\'s half-human remember, and perhaps more importantly, raised by her mother. They struggle to speak of these things. You must do your best to make her safe, coax her to show you or tell you what she needs or likes. She likely won\'t offer it freely."

"Why do the humans have such a fear of nudity and sex?" Aaryn asked, baffled. "It seems they enjoy it. So, why not speak of it? Why not show themselves?"

Reth shrugged. "It was something I observed in them when I visited—a great deal of demonstration and flaunting, a great deal of action, truth be told. But not nearly enough discussion. Shame over their bodies, shame in the way they speak of it—and so the young don\'t learn from the older and wiser, and so they make mistakes, or become selfish… don\'t do that."

Aaryn shook his head. "Seeing her happy is my joy," he said, with quiet conviction. "And seeing her light up is my… it\'s the greatest… I mean—"

"I know what you mean, and I am very pleased to hear it," Reth growled, though his lips turned up on one side. "Just make sure your attention is for her, and you will find her attention drawn to you. It will be good for everyone, then."

"Yes, Sir," Aaryn said dryly, in a mimicry of their days training under Reth.

Reth laughed. "Good male," he said, slapping Aaryn\'s back again. "And welcome to the family. We are a chaotic lot, but the work is worth the rewards, I promise."

Aaryn rolled his eyes, but deep down, he was deeply touched.

He\'d never wanted to be a part of something more than he wanted Elreth\'s heart, and this family as his own.

The thought made him immediately feel guilty thinking of his mother, alone with a stranger. Broken. While he was out here excited for his future, and thinking of another family. So he pushed it away.

But the niggling sense of shame didn\'t leave him.